When do you find time to write? Joanne Levy's Small Medium at Large Launch

Saturday, instead of writing, I enjoyed lunch with Wendy Whittingham, illustrator of Miss Wondergem's Dreadfully Dreadful Pie by Valerie Sherrard and then together we headed off to Joanne Levy's launch of Small Medium at Large at Bryan Prince's Book Store in Hamilton.

Try to spot all the famous writers in this audience.  I see Gillian Chan and Patricia Storms. Somewhere else milling about is Jocelyn Shipley and Lynda Simmons.   Wendy Whittingham's the one in the white shirt and long brown hair.  After the reading she wanted to ask Joanne some questions.  One of the most interesting was "When do you find time to write?"

Now the answer should be easy.  If you're a full time writer, no outside job to take you away, you just get up and write all day.

But the real truth is the person who stays at home inherits most of the household tasks, waiting for the repairman who doesn't show when he/she's supposed to and interrupts every two minutes when he/she does. Looking after the sick child or spouse or parent.  Feeding the family.  Cleaning up after the feed.  Walking the dog.  Putting the laundry away. Keeping the house in order.  Getting the car serviced.

Add to that your own personal maintenance program:  exercise, hygiene, doctor and dentist appointments.  

But let's face it, most people even if they don't write or work from home have to find away to do all this too.  So writers claim to struggle with all these time demands when they're off galavanting to their friends' book launches.

What writers really need to do if to find a solitude in which to write.  If you need total quiet, then you need to pack yourself off to the library where there's usually even free wireless.  If you need white noise, a hubbub that doesn't involve you, you can go to the coffee shop. A friend of mine likes to hide herself at her cottage for a few weeks to work full throttle near about the middle of a project.

My secret is that I'm an opportunist. (Oh yeah and I can ignore any of the afore mentioned time suckers,
house cleaning especially.)  I have the good fortune and focus to be able to write on planes, in cars and in short snatches of time, for example while waiting for supper to go up in flames.

So my advice to Wendy and all creators: steal the time.  Make a list of all the things you have to do and pick out which ones you will ignore until you have a couple of hours to write.  Switch this list around a bit so that if Monday you ignore your spouse, Tuesday you should ignore your kids or your mother, Wednesday you should forget about showering, dressing and your trip to the gym.  Thursday don't clean  the kitchen or make your bed (easily an hour there), Friday  don't cook, that can be your diet day since you neglected exercise on Wednesday.  Saturday head for your friend's book launch.  Sunday--that's your day of rest--you can fulfill all the other demands of your life and forget writing.

Good luck.

Ten+ Tips for a Successful Signing (YA Children's books)

I know what you're thinking, I'm not signing a board game.  It's Crush. Candy. Corpse plus my other backlist.

Let's first establish what a successful signing is.  Some bookstore managers tell me sales of 20 is what they hope for, some say 30.  Assuming a 10% royalty of retail price and a $15 book for ease of math, that means you would earn about $45 for a four hour appearance.  So we know success can't be measured in those numbers, it must be defined by the people you meet during the signing, hopefully kids who will love you forever.  Yes they will grow out of your books but they'll buy them for their kids. Or perhaps for nostalgia sake. Or because their house burnt down.  Teachers replace books because they've gone mouldy.  I've lived long enough to enjoy all of these kinds of repeat sales.  Educators, librarians and engaged parent and grandparents are also wonderful contacts to make.  But we're getting ahead of ourselves.  What kind of things do I do, and therefor you can too, to make sure you get at least those numbers the bookstore aims for?  Here's my ten top tips:

1)Engage in the new S & M for writers.  No not reading Shades of Grey, I mean posting on Facebook, Twitter and emailing all your friends who live in the area of the store you're signing at.

Let me take this opportunity to thank Andrea Wayne Von Koningslow, picture book illustrator and writer extraordinaire of How Do You Read to a Rabbit? and many more.  She showed up and bought books for herself and her daughters at my pre Canada Day signing in Yorkdale Mall.  Also she called out to passing eye-averting strangers.  "I'm buying three books of hers.  This is a fabulous writer."

2)Get your hair and nails done, buy a new outfit. (Yes Arthur, Shane, Eric, Ken, John even you)  Gives you the confidence to approach those complete eye-averting strangers ducking around you. This may also help counter the pre anxiety levels you experience thinking no one will even be in the store never mind anyone ducking around your table. I wish I'd tried nail decals.  They're a vaguely new and give you something to discuss with kids, besides your stories, so they can fall in like with you enough to buy the book.

Amazingly I can sign with no pen or hands!

3) Make or buy some treats.  No peanuts obviously.  My current favourite is  the Mars Bars Square, The recipe is on my Pinterest site.  While they are chocolatey and messy and, call for eight chocolate bars thereby denting that $45 profit, they help me get into shout out mode.  So instead of calling "Books for sale, signed by the author," I can say,  "Would you like to try a Mars Bars Square?"  Once I'm warmed up I can add,  "They're to promote my latest book.  Would you like me to tell you about it?"

4) Bring stuff to hand out, autographable stuff. Preferably with the image of one of your books but it could be a book mark from backlist, could be your business card with a white space to sign.  Those are good, actually, 'cause the reader can contact you after.  I bring literacy and writing talk tip sheets.  When your Mars Bars Squares run out you can call out to parents, "Would you like some tips to get your kids to read?"

5) Confirm with the bookstore contact several times that you are indeed coming along with the date and time.  Nothing funny about them totally forgetting.  Must have been hard on that one Chapters Store manager when I didn't show on the date they thought they had asked me.  Calling me on the day didn't help when I was in Vancouver.

6) Arrive early so you can check out the location of the latest reading must haves, either the stacks of Hunger Games or the various Shades of Grey.   The bathroom, you want to know where it is but so do all the eye-averting strangers.

7) Make sure you know the instore specials so you can promote your book with the "On Sale" feature of the day.   "If you buy a Canada Day mug, chocolate, card, etc, you get 20% off my book."

8)  Parents love to defer purchases.  "Lets just look around and then come back later."
"You bought the Hunger Games trilogy today, we can should come back another time for this book"  Develop a strategy to incur a sense of urgency in them, real estate agents are fabulous at this, and let me know when you've perfected it.  "If you buy one today, you'll get my autograph.  Teachers love when your kids do a book report on a Canadian author, and if they have a signed copy...well, guaranteed A+."  As I said, let me know if you find a better one.

9)  Get someone to take lots of photographs.  You can offer to email photos to the potential buyer, if

Jan Slerpe created this sketch from one of his wonderful photos.  His picture taking seemed to attract crowds too.

they sign a sheet with their email.

10) Believe that your book offers the best story for your target audience.  That tween carrying the Hunger Games or sadly the Shades of Grey trilogy can also read your novel and love it.  You just need  to coax them into buying it.  And that's why you're there.

And the +plus tip?  Find a way to enjoy yourself.  Bring your laptop and write--you know everyone loves to interrupt you while you're creating.

Good luck, we all need it.

Finding the desk in your messy office. A how-to guide.

Arthur Slade (author of Island Doom) inspired me.  Okay maybe he shamed me.  He posted photos of his treadmill desk and his lonely regular desk in a blog about the benefits of tread writing.  They both looked...tidy. I've been avoiding my treadmill and my office in general because the clutter in it has multiplied like tribbles. Only not as cute.

 I know I should probably appear on a reality tv show where they do an intervention.  And I've edited enough articles on organizing your home or hiring an organizer that I feel I should be an expert on this topic.

So I thought I'd break it down in manageable steps and I'll lay them out for you all in case you suffer from overwhelming mess too.  (I always thought every writer suffered from this disability till I saw Arthur's desk. ) Remembering that an organizer charges about $250 an hour and only stays for an hour at a time because most people can't endure more.  Here goes:

Cleaning the office.

Step 1  Take “before” photo.  Post it on Facebook, you know you can't back away from cleaning up then.

Step 2  Pick up all  paper and take it to recycling before the truck shows.  Even the huge card that says you are the best author in the world.  Even the newspaper that has that nice photo of you.  Really do you need three copies. And the origami crane, castle, octagon your biggest fan folded for you.

Distraction #1 Jackappoo Mortie decides I must be taking him for a walk since I'm heading outside to the blue box.  What can I do?  Half an hour later I'm back.

Distraction # 2  Oh, thats where that PLR form is.  I really have to update it with my latest novel crush.candy.corpse.  Public Lending Rights requires my ISN number.  But I have a hard cover and paper edition.  I must go on to the website to find out if I need to register both...oh, I missed the May deadline.  I make myself a note on my Icalandar to register next February.

Distraction #3 While I'm on the computer I check email, Facebook and Twitter.  For good measure I do a google search on crush. candy.corpse in case someone's said anything nice lately.  Someone did, I retweet.

Step 3  Take box of books to the cellar.  First I label the box, crush.  Will I forget that they're my books and look in some day for  orange pop?

Step 4  Collect all the Lego and put it in a box on another floor of the house.

Distraction # 4  Answer the phone and chat with author friend Estelle Salata (The Happy Journal of Tori Edwards) Make big plans for a writer lunch tomorrow. I deserve it, I'm working very hard today. An hour later I'm back.

Step 5  Sweep desk and floor.  Bonus!  I find pens and a pencil sharpener.

Distraction #5 I sharpen every pencil I can find and place it in my green jar against the eventuality of never finding that sharpener again.

Distraction #6  Sharpening pencils makes a person hungry!  I make a snack. Oh heck it's close enough to lunch.  I enjoy a turkey sandwich. "What?" Mortie barks.  "I want turkey too."  I feed the dog.

Step 6  An hour later:  Wash desk and floor with vinegar and water.  Dry desk.  It's starting to almost look good!

  

Step 7  Take "after" photo of desk.  True the whole office is not perfect yet.  You can't see all the author props piled up on top of the cupboard in this photo.  My spare brain, my rubber chicken, three dog stuffies, a snare pole, a tiger and an identicane.  Still it may never be this clean again and we must celebrate the steps along the way!  The floor looks like floor now too but it's not what we in the business call a real photo op. Just imagine dark brown parket with a tile missing.

Now the goal of this was to get up on the treadmill and write!  Instead (woof, woof) the mail carrier came and I filled out some addendum contracts on my luxuriously clean and spacey desk.  It was very nice. Then I walked to the postoffice to mail the contracts and by then I was so exhausted I sat at the dining room table where I almost always write and banged out 1,200 words.  Twelve hundred not some paltry one thousand words! 

  

And the winner is...

Sarah Kim from Cleveland Elementary Public School in North Vancouver, B.C.

A while back ago, in desperation I drew my own courtroom sketch for my power point presentation on my new book.  My local librarian, Laura Williams, suggested taking an art class.  Does this answer the commonly asked author  question do you own illustrate your own books?  So for the last three author presentations of crush. candy. corpse I created a contest.  Draw a better courtroom scene than the author's rendition.  The winner gets...fame, fortune, all my appreciation and...drum roll...an autographed copy of crush.candy.corpse.   Why did I choose this drawing over all the others?  I love the eyes, there's a Japanese anime look about them.  The characters' expressions add a touch of humour.  Yes, yes, this drawing just made me smile.  Thank you Sarah!  The book will go out in the mail tomorrow.

Imagine in the Park- A different kind of success

Great props, all nicely displayed and labelled. We did have fun.

How do you prepare for a drop-in event - one that likely won't draw your demographic audience? I made Mars Bars Squares,brought a spare brain, always handy, a coffee bean necklace, some feathers, a rubber chicken,  three squawking stuffed birds, some sample books, my laptop, a blindfold, an identicane and a portable sound system.  Left my ego at home.

Not a Robert Munsch routine-I'm mugging my eldest daughter's favourite pose for my son in law.

At this point I should mention I was starting to get a sore throat.  The sound system I strapped on was a crutch.  I really never needed the volume. It rained and  the workshops and blue pencils we had envisioned turned into one on one writing chats with kids.   We were totally en-tented and the sound of the drops rattling on the canvas was very soothing.  Within minutes I'd sold my sample crush.candy.corpse.  I wasn't even trying or I would have bought more.

The laptop was a brilliant backup as I could open up any of my power point presentations complete with my book trailers and show them on an individual basis. I didn't draw blockbuster hundreds, but I talked with such neat kids. Showed them my "sensation stations" so they could think about using their five senses when writing.  And I spoke with their parents, handing out tip sheets I'd created on literacy.  One mother and daughter are definitely going to check out my favourite bookstore A Different Drummer.

Another Iranian boy returned a few minutes later to ask for some more writing tip.

Such a wonderful opportunity to talk about the excitement of writing with one child at a time.

I was sorry for the hard working arrangers  and volunteers of this festival that more kids didn't turn out.  But at the end of the day I felt such deep satisfaction.  And I couldn't have articulated why until I interviewed a writer, Jacqueline Guest, author of Outcasts of River Falls from Bragg Creek, Alberta this morning.  She talked about how writing isn't all about the crappy royalty cheques. (I chuckled at that one.)  It's about passing on the magic of reading.  That moment when you connect with a young reader and turn them on.  This festival gave me the opportunity to pass on my passion for writing.    I'd say I saw the magic wash over at least twenty young writers.  A pretty good number, I'd say.  Thank you to Patti Cannon and all the Imagine in the Park volunteers.  Pretty sure Ryan will save the world. Thanks also to the parents who took the time to give their kids this experience.

SEEK School Campus

First they visited me, then I visited their campus--that's the Saturna Ecological Education Classrooom. The students were back at their own home base schools which is why the campus looks deserted.

 I like the chore list

 Not sure I could sleep this high up.

I hope to return sometime for a sleepover writing camp.  No wireless devices are allowed.  Guess I could live without wifi for three days.

School Visit on Saturna Island

Canada Council through The Writers' Union of Canada funded my airfare to Vancouver in order to perform "National Readings" at Capilano and Lynn valley (Thank you, thank you) but we tacked on a trip to a fab writer Rachael Preston and she organized a random drive by author visit at Saturna Island School where the SEEC (Saturna Island Environmental Education Classroom) students dropped by from their unusual campus.

These kids, from anywhere in BC, opt to study for three days (and nights!) a week in a rainforest environment.  They cook for themselves, tidy, plant things, create and study environmental issues.

The Saturna School Building

Keen SEEK Learners

At this point they realize my friend Rachael is taking their photo with the same farmer as on screen

Feather similes

On this day they learned about writing process instead. On the fly, feather and paint chip simile creation as well as reading script drew some great volunteers.  For a change we had two young men play the parts of Sunny, usually a girl, and Cole.  Note the red hair extensions and coffee bean necklaces to help get the young man into character.

Very keen learners eager to read my work now.  Lots of fun.  Thanks to Rachael's organizing and Canada Council's funding some very engaged learners enjoyed something totally different.

Gender switching while reading a script

Embracing Your Inner Douche

At the Writers' Union AGM for a talk on Promoting You Book-Tricks of the Trade,  here's Dorris Heffron and Richard Scrimger reading his bio together, she forgot her glasses.  The pearl of wisdom he shared?  Embrace your inner douche, be that guy you hate who says "Hey, buy my book."

Margriet Ruurs suggested that we think of all the markets for our books, non-traditional ones too, for example she sent her chicken picture book to the egg marketing board and encouraged them to host contests and give her books away.

Zoe Grams, publicist from Douglas McIntyre, shared some basic premises of a marketing platform. "Find the benefit for others."  What specific value does your book offer?

The workshop was entertaining as well as informative.  Hey writers, you all should have come to Vancouver this weekend!

crush.candy.corpse Draw Courtroom Scene Contest

Okay, this image answers the question do you illustrate your own books.

Noooooo!

But photographs are not allowed in a trial so newspapers often use sketches.  Who would do the sketch for me? Photocopying one from a paper would violate copyright and besides there is no sketch that would give my details. I illustrated this one myself.

Now I'm asking my talented readers.  Submit a drawing of this scene (I recommend you read the first chapter to cue you, scroll down to an older post and you can read it here) and send me it postmarked no later that June 10th.  Address:  Sylvia  McNicoll 2646 Cavendish Drive, Burlington, Ontario, L7P 3V7.

You could win an autographed crush.candy.corpse if I use your drawing to replace my own in my presentation.  Make sure you give me your address so I can send your prize to you.

Dream Readings at North Vancouver Library

All hail to Canada Council for funding these terrific opportunities for me to meet young readers at Lynn Valley Mail Library  and Parkgate Branch

Perhaps there was one dark and scary moment when I reached into my bag and found the connector to my old laptop instead of the one for my MacBook Air.  One moment when I thought oh great, no powerpoint to guide me through my talk.  Am I ever going to have to wing this presentation.  But then I took a breath and rummaged some more.  Of course I had packed the new connector too.

Explaining the concept of your brain as a toaster, what you put in will come out in your writing.  Note the spare brain in my hand.

Everything else about the  readings went perfectly.One of my new favourite librarians Alison Campbell gave me a fabulous intro and Ross Road ( I kept hearing students say Across the Road)  grade 6 and 7 students were so attentive and enthusiastic, the visit felt like a text book author visit, that shining example you hope for each time you step into a library, gym or auditorium.  I handing out parting gifts to the kids who volunteered, autographed postcards of the cover of crush. candy.corpse., suggesting they could sell them on Ebay.  During Q & A period, one enterprising young writer asked how much I thought they would go for.  I answered that if he could hold out till I won the Governor General Award or died, he could probably get more for it. He seemed to consider this answer seriously.  Another question had to do with my crow/legal clerk, eagle/judge and raven/lawyer simile in the courtroom scene opening. I had previously said that a brain was like a toaster.  See the image above.  The young writer asked me if I had drawn my similes from Edgar Allen Poe and told me he had compared lawyers to ravens and judges to eagles.  Wow.  I haven't read Poe since I was 19, maybe it had finally popped out of my brain like over toasted bread.

Using your passions in writing or perhaps the agony of the Q & A

Next we enjoyed a delicious lunch at The Bistro.  "We" included Norma Charles, author of many fine books most recently Run Marco Run, had driven me to the readings, taken these great photos.

New fans, I hope.  Note at least two male writers in the photo.

Afterwards we headed for Capilano Public Library with another 60 or so attendants.

Creating similes and metaphors using feathers, or just tickling yourself.

Again extremely attentive students, wildly enthusiastic volunteers--no one asked for quotes on Ebay prices for my autograph.  Who were some of the famous people I'd met? With seconds left, the final question was:  Who was my favourite author?  And the answer was...

Conducting my paint chip and feather simile orchestra.

New fans, great writing questions.

Norma Charles!  Thanks again to Canada Council.

Chapters Pointe Claire Signing

Thirty to forty books, that's what Deb Aubin says authors who do any kind of promotion usually sell at her high travel Pointe Claire Chapters.  In Ontario 20, I'm told, is a good figure. The gauntlet is laid.  

The glove thrown down.

I become obnoxious on Facebook and Twitter.  I post on my high school page. On CANSCAIP's group page.  On Montreal OuiCANSCAIP.  I send my old friends in Montreal emails. I make Mars Bars Squares.  At the very least you can eat your lonely sorrows away if it turns out no one shows.

No worries.

Monique Polak breezed in like paparazzi, snapping photos and interviewing everyone, creating a nice buzz.  As usual, I met great kids and other readers. A high school teacher who will share with colleagues from another three high schools. One of my best friends from high school, Rose Alyanakan came with her mom and daughter.  (It was Mother's Day)  I hadn't seen her since I was 16. I felt lonely for my own mother for a few moments. Other high school friends came.  Best friends from my previous corporate job visited.  A business writer stopped to chat about creating with words and intrigued bought a book herself.    The winning blockbuster figure? Twenty-nine.

Oh!  So close!  Happily every author knows that numbers don't tell the real story.  It was a complete success.

Montreal Trip-Kahnawake Survival School

When I heard about my high school reunion in Montreal, like most broke authors with a new book, the question that occurred to me was how can I make this trip tax deductible.  I'd always wanted to do a signing in the Pointe Claire Chapters so I called Deb Aubin at that branch and she was amazing.  Within a couple of days the event was up on the Chapters Blog set for Mother's Day.  Then I began cold calling schools.    Oh so many librarians and teachers seemed so excited for a couple of emails.  And then they realized their funding was gone, there were track meets and exams and they were too busy. etc.etc.   The calls still achieved contact and I hope the teachers will buy copies of crush.candy.corpse for their libraries. And perhaps next year with fun fair money in hand, they will also think of hosting a visit.  One of my favourite schools committed immediately.  I love the name of it .  Here it is:

I survived Survival School.

This is a Mohawk High School.  And as you can see below the building is beautiful, new, bright and airy.Some of the students have attended a Mohawk Immersion program which means their English writing skills might not be at a regular level, whatever regular means.

The large windows allow plenty of light in.

I loved visiting with these kids.  But I will be honest.  They challenge me and keep me humble.  One young man questioned my intent when I asked them to create a "tent" with a recycled manuscript paper
and print their names on in large letters.  "Why don't you just ask us for our names?"

Gee I thought I was doing just that.  But I think the student wanted to just orally story tell even beginning with his name.

If they write out them out visibly for me, I have half a chance of pronouncing and/or remembering them.  Plus as I schemed, they were flipping the paper and reading drafts of my work.  I told him flat out I couldn't remember names.  He stared at me, emotionless, or did he think I was lame?  With names at author visits I tend to be.

I handed out feathers as a simile/metaphor creating exercise.  Students seemed to like letting them drift down not so much describing the colour and texture. Or thinking of any of the symbolism behind feathers.

I paired them off to create scripts.  They weren't keen to act them out.  Shy or did they need more
Hopefully the kids learned at least one thing.coaxing?

Sometimes you do your best and then just walk away, pondering.  Next visit for sure I'll come up with something that will magically turn them into writers.

Writers' Cafe Teen Fiction - Hillfield Strathallan

It was an evening of dimmed lights, fine literature and Nanimo Bars.  My favourite young writers Brandon, Kieran, Alexandra, Karishma, Holly, Ally, Darius, Kylie, Ben and Isabella read the stories they had created over my term as writer-in -residence at Hillfield Strathallan College.  Horror, thriller, spy, fantasy, adventure, speculative fiction, not one of them was alike.  I emceed with a few toes in my mouth mispronouncing and mixing up names.  I hate that because I feel like they shared their souls with me.  But unfortunately their souls registered as stories without  the names and faces attached. I've worked electronically with students many times over the years but that's always been a problem.  Next online project I'll see if technology can remedy that.

photos attached to the projects.  Or Skype a bit in between.  



Still it was a wonderful evening of celebration.  I couldn't take pictures as the writers presented, I think that would have made them nervous, so I post the before-cafe-mingle shot and the photo of the flowers and book darts presented to me afterwards.  I'm a big killer of plants and loser of bookmarks.  For the shot I taped one daisy neck to help it hold up its head.  The book darts are intriguing as I can use them to mark reading spots without having them fall out.  But it was the wonderful readings that I will remember and the one on ones I had with the talented students.Thank you Mrs. Niebart and Hillfield Teen Fiction writers.  Keep reading and writing.

ps  Sorry that Gabby Lamay couldn't read her brilliant and funny story "Brief Rescue."  A plane crash and lucky underwear, you try to figure out how they go together.

Mail Someone a Book

The other day I received a book in the mail.  I'm writing a profile on the author for Canadian Children's Book News and this was the quickest best way to get hold of her novel. Mailing involves wrapping and costs so I tried to spare  Gillian O'Reilly the ordeal by mentioning our next get together.  It didn't work out. 

Sneak preview of the author being profiled in the fall Canadian Children's Book News

When I received the package in the mail, a) I was delighted with receiving something that wasn't a bill directed to me, b) I loved opening a parcel with a book.  It reminded me of the time I sent my nephew a couple of books special delivery.  It's not that books thrill him but I heard from his mom how much the special delivery parcel surprised and thrilled him.

This morning I packaged up 12 Tiger Catcher's Kids for a school near Ottawa.  I recycled a German Book Club box used to send me my copies of Jades Zweites Leben.  I nearly duct taped myself to the box and now I'll have to make the trip to the postoffice which doesn't allow dogs so what's the point in walking there.

12 Tiger Catcher's Kids almost fit neatly inside

Still.  I'm suggesting you all take the time to mail a book to a special person in your life, could be for Mother's Day or just because.  For children especially getting snail mail is becoming rarer, and a parcel with a special book could be the very thing that launches them on a love affair.

End of the little red engine, welcome MacBookAir

My MacBook had a jaunty red cover that inspired many "cool" comments from students

A friend asked me how you could tell if your computer was "going" on you.  In the past it's been, after you've spilled the coffee, coke or cleaner into the keyboard and/or when the computer just won't start any more.  This time it was a way more difficult task.  I loved my Macbook, I wrote at least ten books on it and edited and created hundreds of magazine articles, not to mention power points and speeches. I felt it had grown to be a part of my body.

You buy a computer and everyone tells you for writing you won't need much.  

But then you start loading on photographs, creating slide shows and movies and suddenly you need a lot more.   My MacBook began spinning coloured wheels a lot, chugging slower and slower. There were a few dread moments in front of grade 7s and 8s when I needed to reboot and the wheel just kept spinning. That would have been last year.

 I decided to replace it
. 

Then my youngest announced plans for a destination wedding and spending the money on airline tickets became the best investment I've ever made. Armed with an external hard drive as extra storage, I would shoot for one more year with spinning coloured wheels. More frequently there were files I couldn't open and my operating system couldn't handle the new ACE storage opportunity which I was dying to try.  Of course a new updated system required more space on my computer.  Space it couldn't give me.

 A few weeks ago the little red engine that could proclaimed itself totally full, no room to save or operate anymore and I desperately unloaded every image I could to get it running.  Of course this means my book trailer is missing from my power point and lots of other inconveniences yet to be discovered.

I  decided to replace the computer again.  

A writer does nothing if not research.  The delicious agony of visiting the Apple Store, lifting computers and asking questions.  Because I had enjoyed a trouble free five years with my red machine, I was going Mac again rather than PC.  I searched Twitter and dragged my feet waiting for more updates.  Finally I thought I decided on a Powerbook, looking forward to a backlit keyboard as my only real change. (I love to write in the car at night when my husband drives.  Or in airplanes.  But when it's dark, you have to tilt your screen forward to light up the keyboard.) Then my son in law sent me articles on MacBook Air.   Another visit to the Apple Store.

Finally I bought the 13" MacBook Air (as in lighter than air)complete with one to one service.

Thanks Mom.

This means I go to computer classes whenever I want.  Yesterday  I learned about Mission Control and how to add another desktop.  Today I learn about iMovies.

I say goodbye to my red machine as my husband empties, cleans and creates a Montreal Canadien's screensaver for it. We've exchanged a red cover for a black.  Today  I turn it over to my hockey loving grandson Hunter for his 11th birthday.  May it chug on to create a million more projects.

The Grand Battle of the Books- Burlington Public Library

Back on the job as official timer, I practised starting, stopping and clearing in preparation for the uber exciting final battles between Elizabeth Seaton, St Patrick, Charles R. Beaudoin and Burlington Central.

Look at the spirit!  Wish my photo of the all-in green shamrock clad St. Patrick team had turned out.

 Still listening to the teams reciting the names of the authors and pondering over the answers had me forget myself. The questions were hard! The battlers tough and prepared.
"In what book do Lee and Cassie go skinny dipping late at night?"  Ahh!  I don't know, I should know.
Canadian Award winner.
  I think Burlington Central had this question and snapped off the answer easily:  Homefree by Sharon Jennings.

Tori is the spokesperson for BCHS.  Don't forget to read The Happy Journal of Tori Edwards by Estelle Salata.

 But I read this book and loved it. Still I didn't remember.  How many times did I suddenly look down in dismay at my black time travel device and shout out "Time!" Seemed like my job should have been the simplest.

"I owe it all to the wonderful teachers and librarians of Burlington"--the speech each student really wanted to give.

Here are the winners: Charles R Beaudoin.  But really, they're all winners.  They're smart and enjoy reading and they all seemed to have fun.  Congratulations all around!

Afterwards battlers acted as my first school audience ever to enjoy my crush.candy.corpse presentation.
We had some great actors and future editors.  I sneak previewed my spring 2013 book, Death Goes Viral . In Q & A afterwards a Charles R. Beaudoin student asked me how long it took for a book to go from idea to print.  I stammered about the economy and how it used to be fairly quick but now it could take two years and more.  Trick question!  The CRB students then  reminded me that I test read the first three chapters of Death Goes Viral to them a couple of years ago in an Artist in Education week.  I had consulted with them on possible titles.  They have been waiting and watching ever since. Okay, sometimes three years.

Lucky Dog-Canada Council Funds Project Afterall

My dog Mortie leaping at birds was my metaphor for  how writers feel when they apply for  grants.  You have to keep jumping with your eye on the ultimate prize:  earning a living writing.  The Canada Council had sent me a letter letting me know my project "Death on Track" was highly recommended by the jury but that they had run out of funds.  Since that correspondence I've been sardonically muttering"well, we could have afforded that if the Canada Council hadn't run out of money" to every major imminently necessary expenditure:  tuneup for the car, tooth implant, upgrade for the MacBook, new roof, even trip to the hairdresser.

Then on Monday another package from them arrived.  Oh, great yet another survey to fill in to make us feel stupid for choosing the arts as a career.  Somewhere there would be a bunch of boxes to check about income earned from royalties and the figure might be embarrassingly low, depending on what time of year it was and whether the publishers had finally mailed the cheque. Maybe I should just wait for that cheque to open the stupid survey.

 I circled the coffee table and tried to ignore the big envelope.   Junk mail, a happy bulletin perhaps about how all the other writers and artists were lolling on the beach with their CC funds. Joyful photos of artists receiving their prizes and medals, sipping champagne in front of a their paintings.

Oh what the heck, let's declutter and get rid of all the mail.  The CC envelope was last to be opened.

Here's the first two lines:

You recently received a letter from the Canada Council for the Arts advising you that your grant application for the Grants to Professional Writers - Creative Writing program was highly recommended.

We are now pleased to advise you that your request will be funded.  

"Oh my gawd!"  I jumped up and down and called "Bob, Bob, Bob" (husband's name) "guess what!" 

Because that doesn't make a great photo I thought I'd use my "granddog" this time.  Warf is also the star of my latest book project.  In it he plays the part of a talking dog Brownie, who grins and has dimples.

One of the grant conditions is that I must supply financial details on how I used the monies. Mortgage payments, subsistence, staying alive.  But of course it may free up other income to accomplish the previously mentioned objectives.  To all my fellow writers who did not have a good year or response to their application, I feel deeply sorry.  The guilt of the granted.

But honestly, mostly, right now, I feel like a lucky dog. 

Battle of the Books--Official timer

Because so many children in Burlington are under the witness protection plan, I can't include a photo of them.

Teams from nineteen schools met at Burlington Public Library to battle over book knowledge.    They needed a timer.  I'm their "local author" and frankly, I just love this competition so I was happy to do it.  What happens is two teams face off in four different rooms of the library.  Each takes turns answering a question.  They must answer with the title of the book for three points and the author for two.  Lots of times they just recite a rosary bead sequence of Canadian authors although they often begin with Eric Walters.  The rest of us seem to only be known by our surnames.  Often the kids would include "McNicoll"in their prayers with  one bright lad starting straight at me to detect any clue by my expression.  "Bah, Eric Walters never wrote anything about dragons," I thought during the fantasy questions. Or did he?  Maybe I should suggest that to him. 

The team had 30 seconds to answer and then the other team got a crack.   It was a tough job frought with technology anxiety.  "Can't I just use my watch?" was the first thing I asked about the job.  But no. Here's the timer.

Note the almost exact timing of 30 seconds here.  For thirty-eight extra seconds I pondered the answer myself..

I practised clicking on, off and clear.  All set to go, pumped even.  Here's one of my favourite questions.
 "In which book does Luke's friend Gracie disappear during an unexpected tornado?"
The kids, of course, blurted out the same answer that popped into my brain.  "Eric Walters.  Safe House."
"Try again," said Marnie, our volunteer inquisitor.
"Little, McNicoll."
"Time!" I called expertly, I must say.

The answer.  I wish I could put it in tiny letters upside down so you would have to turn your screen upside down to read it:
Valerie Sherrard,  The Glory Wind

I'm looking forward to reading the book, and many more mentioned during this fearsome battle.  I return in a couple weeks for the final showdown and to introduce them to my new title crush.candy.corpse.

Signing success crush.candy.corpse at Queensway Chapters

Erica K., my first customer of the day emailed to tell me she read the book in two hours and loved it.

Pressure and anxiety--that's what an author feels when approaching a signing.  Years ago a Coles bookseller told me that selling 19 or 20 books on a day makes a successful event.  Remembering that an a writer clears about a dollar a book, that's $20 for four or five hours.  You never look to these as a cash cow.

You can't just sit back and read or write either and rarely will anyone approach you. You have to coax people to come to speak to you.  So I made my new favourite treat, Mars Bars Squares, and stood offering people these if they were anywhere within shouting distance.  That served as a warm up exercise.

It was the Saturday after a legal holiday, Good Friday, so there was an initial spurt of shoppers who felt deprived of a whole day of the retail experience.  Within an hour and a half I'd sold seven books and all the squares (there were tons) were gone.  Now the fall back line was, "would you like an autographed bookmark?"

Because of social media, you can count on some friends showing up.  Three in my case--that was nice. Deb Loughead, a great writer herself, sat and kept me company for an hour or so.

A high moment for me was when someone approached me to find mugs and Deb said she should buy a book at Chapters and go to Home Sense next door for the cups.  They were way cheaper.  High fives.

 My supportive editor, Carrie Gleason showed.

After that spurt though, the shoppers seemed to part around me.  My target audience often seemed so distant, without throwing myself on teen and preteens like some stalker, it was difficult to get their attention.  Deb watched as I asked the same young person about five times as she scurried around me in different directions whether she wanted a bookmark.

She was deliberately ignoring me, right?

No.  Because the sixth time, she opened up like the sky at sunrise.  She was delighted to chat about my books and receive the bookmark that in turn led to an autographed book.

Another time a young Indian girl with her dad, seemed oblivious to me several passes and then excitedly took the autograph.  No book.  Later as she left the store she made a point of coming back to me to thank me for the signed bookmark.  A warm fuzzy, that means a lot to me, no kuching for the publishing industry, however.


At five with a score of about 18 books if you count the promised ebook purchase, I was all set to pack up when a beautiful young woman (Donna A.) sat down with a laptop sat down opposite me.  She looked up from typing and asked me if the books on display were mine.  I told her I was, indeed, the author.  One thing led to the other and I ended up reading her poetry and chatting about books and writing.

As I was leaving, she told me she wanted to write novels and become a writer, but she didn't think she could survive a no--rejection in other words.

Oh boy,  give up, I thought.   But that's not great mentoring advice.  So I thought for another while.

Then I told her that I had sat there since one o'clock and approached strangers with squares and bookmarks, lots declined.  The only reason I could face that ordeal was because I was convinced that the story I had written if it landed in the right reader(s) hands would make an impact that could even be life changing.



She ran to ask her mother if she could buy the book, and honestly that had not been my intention.  In the end, she gave me my quota sale but she gave me something way better.  I enjoyed meeting a younger me, excited and nervous about her work, loved chatting with her about writing and books, loved reading her poetry. I won't know if my particular book changed her life but the signing experience definitely clicked at that moment.  And the advice I gave her, resonated in my own psyche.  I believe in my stories.  Even if every shopper clutched the Hunger Games trilogy in their hands, I believed that they could still read my book and love it.  If no one else on this planet would handsell my book on this particular day, then I would because of this belief.

Still, please don't ask me to do this every Saturday.